Hi, all!
My project this semester is called Three Brothers in a Spacious Kingdom, and will follow the Roman gods Jupiter, Neptune, and Pluto as they rule over their earthly domains, as well as their planetary homes. I would love to hear whatever feedback you may have; just comment below!
Hi Jessie!
ReplyDeleteI love the topic of your storybook! I love Roman mythology! I would recommend adding a link from your project website to your comment wall for easy navigation. I'm excited to read more of your stories.
Will all of the stories take place on Earth? Or will there be stories that take place on their individual planets? I think there are a lot of really interesting ways that you can take this story. It could also be interesting to retell the stories by switching up the powers of the three brothers. For example Zeus could be the god of the underworld and Neptune could be the god of the sky. I really like how you are tying in modern society's problems like nuclear warfare. I think it could be interesting if you tied in the current water shortages. I'm excited to read more!
Hey Jessie,
ReplyDeleteYour intro has me excited for your storybook, as I'm a sucker for the whole "contemporary twist" thing. I think I'm most eager to see how you play the relationships between the three brothers as you tell each one's own story. I think there could be a lot of fun interaction there: gods could play devil's advocate for humanity just to aggravate their brothers. It looks like you're going to be tackling some big issues through these stories, and I think it could also add some comic relief if you also throw in some "less heavy" pet peeves that the gods have with how we conduct ourselves. Maybe Zeus is smug that we use planes to get from place to place faster than with boats?
I think this is going to be a great storybook and above all I'm eager to see how the personalities of the gods play out. I think you've chosen to hold those cards until we get into the meat of the story which I'm all for.
Hi Jessie,
ReplyDeleteI am very excited for the development of your storybook over the rest of the semester. I have never really been in to greek mythology, but I am actually looking forward to reading some of your stories and seeing the twist you are going to put on the original stories of greek mythology. I really like how you are taking something so classical and known and putting a small twist on it. I am interested in knowing if all of these stories will deal with just Earth or the other planets as well? Will aliens be involved? There are many different ways in which you could choose to write your stories. I am excited to see which path you choose. I also enjoy reading about the rivalry between the brothers. I think that this is a good thing to keep throughout your stories to keep the suspension high and the readers engaged. Other than that, your website looks great. I like how the header really goes with your overall theme of your story book. I am wishing you the best of luck with this semester and I am looking forward to reading more of your storybook!
What I love about this story is that the basic storyline isn't particularly new, but the setting you give provides an awesome opportunity to mix science-fiction with fantasy. Because this is an Introduction, I won't worry too much about granular level suggestions, but instead offer some questions and suggestions. First of all, how do humans worship these gods? Do the gods even need worship to exist, or are they OK with ruling over a worshiping class from miles away? As they rule over the planets, what kind of dominion do they exercise? Are there species for them to rule over or are they kind of creating what their kingdom looks like? I also think that its really clever that you're going to use the story to explore some modern-day concepts. One of my favorite tropes in this class involve ancient gods having opinions and influence over more modern concepts, so you should really try to explore that as best you can.
ReplyDeleteJessie, I read your intro for your storybook project, and I think your storybook is going to be very fun and interesting to read! I really enjoy reading about the Greek Gods and Goddesses, so I think you chose a good theme for your storybook.
ReplyDeleteThe last paragraph of your introduction gives a short summary of what to expect for your storybook, but have you considered adding some more details to your introduction? By expanding on ideas in the last paragraph and giving the reader a few more hints, so the reader can better understand what your storybook about Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades will entail.
Also, I think your title goes along great with the overall theme of your storybook, and I like how you incorporated the title "Spacious Kingdom" into the last sentence of your intro. I am excited to see what you come up with and how your story book turns out!
Hi Jessie! I really like the title of your storybook. It drew me in right away because I wanted to know what spacious kingdom was. I was thinking more along the lines of it being a large kingdom, but I love that it's actually space. I'm always a fan of modern reinterpretations of old stories, or moving them to a modern setting, and I think you did a good job of doing that for the Roman gods in your story so far. Having them be literally tied to their planets is a cool interpretation, and I like the way you tie in the motion of the planets to the god's emotions, such as the Great Red Spot being more tempestuous than usual with Jupiter's anger or Neptune's planet almost slipping into retrograde motion because he was shocked.
ReplyDeleteJessie,
ReplyDeleteSo first off I ADORE this concept! It is so creative. I love reading about the Greek gods but I feel that it is so overdone, but this puts such an original twist on things. There is so much potential for some really piercing messages about what we are doing to our planet as well as where we are going as a species. Love! In your first story, I know who Juno is but make sure you introduce her. I know she is listed down below but you may just make a quick reference to who she is for readability. I love how this story is laid out, it kind of keeps you wondering what the plan is until the end. The writing is fantastic and I really do not have any criticisms so far. You get a little political but I think it is subtle enough that it doesn't take away from the story. All in all, great job. I cannot wait to read more!
Hi Jessie,
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of your storybook! I think it is so creative to add a modern twist to old stories. The introduction gave just the right amount of information - it said enough so that the readers will know what to expect, but it did not give your stories away. I am not familiar with Three Brothers, but I got a great glimpse of it just by reading your introduction. The examples that you included in your intro are really valuable. For those who are unfamiliar, they give an example of the direction your story is headed, which entices the readers to come back and read more if they find the examples interesting.
For your first story, I thought it was so impressive that you developed all of those themes into one story, Jupiter. It is also great that you listed all of them so your readers can read further into it if desired. This story really shows that you put a lot of hard work into it. This is a really powerful story because it is so interesting to think what outsiders would think about the ways that humans treat each other and the Earth. My favorite part is the ending - you ended on a perfect spot that will definitely draw your readers in for the next story. I really like how you used these characters to tell a story full of science and reality, but it is all created in your head. Really great job!
Jessie,
ReplyDeleteThis is the second time I have visited your storybook! I love the improvements/changes that have been made. It's really cool that you tie Jupiter with his planet. I'd love to see more of this connection, because I think it adds an interesting depth to your story. I also think you do a good job of showing Jupiter's haughty and arrogant personality. There are a couple times that you reference additional mythological figures, I know you provide links to them in the Author's Note, but it would also be really helpful to add one or two sentences elaborating on the story. Theres an interesting juxtaposition that you're creating within this story by leveraging the power of world leaders with the power of the hierarchal greek world leaders. Your story shook me when you named "Harvey" as Jupiter's punishment on earth. I am interested to see how Jupiter and his brothers continue to combat human manipulation of their domain. Great job!
Hey Jessie!
ReplyDeleteI am excited about your storybook because I have already visited your site before when only your introduction was published. I was definitely left with some questions with just reading the introduction, but now I have some clarity with what kind of stories you will be writing. When reading your first story, Jupiter, I was very intrigued by the details that were in it. I thought it was very creative to connect all of the different ideas and themes into one story. That is something that I could have never done. I do think that this sometimes makes it easy for people to get confused, but I think you did a good job on providing the needed details in order to keep a clear and interesting story. I am definitely looking forward to your next story and wondering if it will involve a different planet? More characters? I guess we will see. Great job!
Hi Jessie! After reading the introduction, I am pleased to say I am ready to read more. I enjoyed the three sculptures of Jupiter, Neptune, and Pluto. It really brings you back to the mythology in these stories. I also like how you chose planets to write about. The details in your first story about Jupiter are great. I enjoy how you are bringing what is happening in the world today and tying it to mythology. You compared America’s president pride to that of Jupiter’s atmosphere. It is entertaining to read about what is happening on earth from the perspective of Jupiter who is supposed to be ruling over the earth. I also really like the gif that you put in the story. I had not thought of doing that and it is pretty cool. After reading through your first story and introduction, I am super excited and cannot wait for your next one.
ReplyDeleteHello Jessie. I am from the Indian Epics class. It is interesting to see what people are doing in the other class. I really liked your premise in your introduction. You took a really creative approach to the source material. Your first story Jupiter was interesting. I liked how you put the old god into a modern setting. I think you did a good job at describing how a forgotten god would react to the world today. I also like how you included current events such as Hurricane Harvey. I am interested in how you will further incorporate the strife between the three brothers. I was also surprised by how in depth your bibliography of all your source material was. I liked your pictures, I would like to see more creativity in the site design. Keep up the good work and I am looking forward to seeing how the rest of your project goes.
ReplyDeleteHello Jessie!
ReplyDeleteI have finally gotten to your project randomly (I try to stick to the projects the website gives me at random)! I love the concept for this, mostly because I am a huge fan of Greek mythology. Your website layout is great, I love the different header pictures. Your introduction was really cool! I like how you have it set up that the gods rule over more than just what happens on Earth. I think it’s more true to Greek mythology that way, with them being enormously powerful. I definitely felt informed after the introduction, which is always nice, and like I knew what I was about to go into and read. Your first story, Jupiter, was great. I think the style of writing fit very nicely for a story about great gods. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what Jupiter would do about the “haughty man,” and I was surprised when it was revealed to be Hurricane Harvey. The buildup and reveal was just perfect, I love how you presented it. “And so Jupiter did, calling it Harvey.” Amazing. I can’t wait to read more!
Hi Jessie!
ReplyDeleteI just want to first say that I really appreciate your introduction. It has a sophisticated tone. It also does a great job of showing the audience what is in store for them with the direction you are taking the story. I quite enjoy the idea of these Greek/Roman gods having to deal with a modern populace that no longer cares nor believes in their power, thus making decisions that anger them.
Furthermore, your first story about Jupiter is clearly well thought out. I can see that you worked hard trying to set up the whole space/ corresponding name to planet kingdoms situation. I thought it was clever how you tied in human space travel to Mars as part of one of the concerns of the the gods! And of course, you did a great job taking a natural phenomenon like Hurricane Harvey and attributing it to the gods wrath. Overall, very nice job.
Hi Jessie! This is my second time reading your storybook. I really like the story about Neptune. The way you characterized him as more sensitive and emotional than his brothers is really interesting, and makes sense for the personification of something as deep and unpredictable as the ocean to be emotional. The way the story begins with the other gods being uncertain if Neptune is causing the rising sea levels or not, and ends with Neptune deliberately raising the ocean to punish humanity creates a good symmetry to the story. I also like how Finding Nemo is Neptune's favorite movie.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessie! I loved your storybook and the way you described Jupiter, Pluto, and Neptune. The dialogue you put in the stories flowed really well and all the stories did a great job of telling a different side. Your introduction was also really well written and allowed us to get a sense of what you were going to be writing about. I liked the "Neptune" story, especially the beginning line which was a question. I love that you started with the question because it allowed us to kind of step back and think about it for a second too! It was a great attention grabber. I think you're an amazing writer and I can tell you did a lot of research for your stories (based off the bibliography), so I think that's really awesome too :) you did a great job on this!! good luck with the final weeks of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessie! I really liked your storybook and how you put a modern twist on the Roman pantheon. I especially liked your modern quips that were interlaced with your story such as the Miracle on the Hudson. I think you had a great introduction that really prepared your readers with what kind of story they should expect. I think that’s great because a lot of people don’t really try with their introduction. I think introductions should be one of the more important parts because that really draws in the reader to your story. You could have a great story but a bad introduction and no one will want to read your story. I love your banner picture but it might be worth changing your banner image for each story. Perhaps you can have a picture of the sky for Jupiter and a picture of the ocean for Neptune. You did a great job on this!
ReplyDeleteHi! I loved these stories. I was originally going to do my story over greek mythology, but changed directions later on. Your creativity really excelled in these stories and I love your twist that you have added throughout. My only suggestion is changing the layout slightly and adding different pictures that make your page stand out, so people will be more intrigued to read your amazing stories!
ReplyDeleteAll in all, I really enjoyed looking through your project, and I'm so glad you were able to take the stories from greek mythology and make them so unique.
Hey Jessie!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your stories and I really like the design of your project. You have put a lot of creativity into these stories to make them your own and they turned out fantastically. My grandmother was an ancient historian and specialized in ancient Greece. I grew up hearing all of the Greek myths, so I am quite familiar with them. I am not as familiar with how the Romans interpreted these myths, so it was neat seeing stories about the Roman versions.
I think it might by helpful to discuss what the Greek versions are in your intro. You mention that your stories come from Roman and Greek myths, but the Greeks have other names. I think it would be helpful if you discussed more about the differences in the two myths.
Hey Jessie! I loved your story's premise. It is so interesting to think of the Gods residing on the planets named for them, continuing to watch over the interactions on Earth. I like how there are both references to the original myths and modern events, like Icarus and the Miracle on the Hudson. That really helped to tie the story with both the past and the present. All the research that you've done has really paid off in the details of your story and the progression of them. All the small details kept me engaged as a reader and made it even more interesting that it already was. The brothers interactions are also super interesting. My favorite has to be Neptune, for his sensitivity is really interesting. The way the brothers offer solutions to one another, trying to help them return to happiness or peace, is rather different from the original Greek myths but I really enjoyed that relationship you have given them. Great work!
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